roaming / nomad

In the midst of the wilderness
Suffocated by anxiety
I wander, lost

A sweltering sun,
A barren land,
No direction to go

Roaming,
Wandering,
A nomad

My body failing
My heart faltering
My mind shattering

A prisoner to my mind
Left to the voices in my head
The remains of a broken past

I call out to the empty air
Crying out for someone to hear
An outburst, a paroxysm of desperation

“Why have you left me here?
Why have you left me alone?
Where do I go?”

In my desperation I quiet
For there is no energy left to cry out
An uneasy heart goes quiet

In the midst of the quiet,
When the tempest of my mind stills
I hear a quiet voice in the breeze

A voice of comfort
A voice of ease
A voice of purpose

At my wit’s end
When all vitality is gone
There, the noises quiet

The lights dim down
The clouds part ways
There, an empty night sky stands

No lights to distract
For the stars shine brightly
When all lights fade away

In the midst of this wilderness
I’m surrounded by nothing
I move forward to with Your guidance

In the quiet
In the stillness
Only then can I hear Your voice

C. S. Lewis illustrates the truth by noting that an artist may not take much trouble over a picture drawn to amuse a child, but he takes endless effort over his great work of art that he loves. (Waltke)

God, the artist of my life, is making something beautiful. A beautiful piece of work that He will one day step back and say, “yes, it is done”. So until that piece is finished, until my walk on earth is done, may I continue to lean on Him and dwell in Him no matter how hard it may be. To seek His face in the midst of all things and walk upon this life He guides me to.

Inspired by 1 Kings 19:10-18 and my own personal thoughts/realizations in this season of wilderness