“i’m proud of you”

The other day, my mom shared about her coworker who was joyfully humming at work one day. She went over to her coworker in curiosity and asked “What’s your joy?” To which her coworker responded, “Jesus!” My mom was so encouraged to hear as her coworker was someone who came to know Christ recently. To see her coworker continue to live in Christ and His joy blessed my mom. The coworker then threw the question back at my mom, to which my mom answered “my son.” She said “I’m so proud of him.” She proceeded to share a little bit of how Jesus healed and transformed me and became my ultimate joy to her coworker. After my mom told this story to me, she told me “영준 (my korean name), I’m proud of you.”

In the past few months, I have never heard that phrase more in my life. “I’m proud of you.”

As a kid, it’s always something you want to hear from your parents. It’s a sign of love, an acknowledgement, in a way, that what you are doing and where you are is good. Frankly, in my childhood years, I didn’t hear that very often. Hearing it now is not only a reflection and testament of my parents’ growth but my own as well. It shows my parents can visibly see and be encouraged by what He has done in my life and what more He will continue to do.

I think my parents have more faith in what God will do for me than I have faith in what God will do for me. It is encouraging and heartwarming to know I have such people by my side.

When I think about the phrase “I’m proud of you,” I think about the Father. Imagine going to Heaven and meeting the Father for the first time. Many times, in my own iniquity and brokenness, I imagine the first thing He will do is rebuke and reprimand me for all the sins and mistakes I made in my time here, but that isn’t who He is. He is merciful, just, and most of all loving—otherwise He wouldn’t have given us His son. I think the first thing He’d do is, like the father and the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32), greet us with open arms and hug us and say, “welcome, home.” We’ll work through all my brokenness later, but the first thing He would do is welcome me home with a warm, loving embrace and say, “I’m proud of you.”

He is the Father who takes pride and joy in the ways that we seek and grow in Him in this broken world. He loves us more than we could ever love ourselves, and He awaits the day to embrace us and welcome us home.

So I think often about my time here. About what I do. Ultimately, to be fueled by His love and live in His love is what He has commanded me to do, and no matter what pain, what hardship I go through, I look forward to everyday. Just like my parents who love me so fully, I know and look forward to the day I see the Father. To run up those steps at the end of the race into His loving arms, and in the warmth of His embrace, hear His gentle voice whisper, “I’m proud of you.”