Living For Jesus

Today I read a prayer/devo titled Living for Jesus.

Lately it’s been hard. The idea and image of living for Jesus has been hard lately. I’ve been kicking myself down over it a lot, enough to make me hesitant to pick up His Word.

Anxiety with future jobs, dreams, dating, and marriage and allowing the enemy to tell me that they won’t happen. Struggle with not turning to Him in all things. Me not reaching out to my friends. A lot of fears, anxieties, and just doubt in my head.

The last few lines of the paper talk about how faulted and broken I am. That excerpt is shared here.
“How little have I illustrated my principles
 And improved my privileges!
How seldom I served my generation!
How often have I injured and not recommended
 My Redeemer!
How few are those blessed through me!
In many things I have offended,
 In all come short of thy glory;
Pardon my iniquity, for it is great.”

“Pardon my iniquity, for it is great.”

It is indeed quite great. ENORMOUS actually. What a powerful prayer and a reflection of how truly broken I am. I’m so broken, so full of brokenness. I’m trying. Trying to remind myself of who I am. Whose I am. What I am. I am so broken. Still somehow, by grace, I am SO loved and SO forgiven. A child of the one true living God.

So to live for Jesus, I must remember my own iniquity. Remember why I am doing the things I do. Remember for who.

My only desire, my approbation, may it wholly and only be devoted to You Lord.

It’s for Your glory.
Your glory.